J.D. Hay, was born on September 17, 2486 to a retired companion and smuggler turned farmer on the Planet Shadow. A child prodigy, she attended school at the very young age of 5, and was touted as the most talkative student in the history of ever at Carthay Center Elementary School. She matriculated from Carthay to attend two different Middle Schools. The first being Bancroft Junior High, the place where she learned of her love of writing bad poetry, where she truly excelled. The second school was John Burrows Junior High (or as the sign outside says John Bvrrovghs) where she learned her extensive art of how to be ignored by the popular kids, a feet only few geeks truly master. From there on, she attended high school at the critically acclaimed Hamilton High School Academy of Music which is where her love of music started. She continues to study Opera and is a rising star in Professor Cooper’s Tuvan Throat-Singing for the Gifted program.
Post graduation, she attended Santa Monica College where she obtained her Certification in Defense Against the Dark Arts, and her Bachelor’s in the very difficult subject of Crab Walking Down Stairs While Possessed. At Santa Barbara City College, she excelled in Drinking 101 and received her PhD in Stellar Warp Engine Design.
Feeling that she had mastered all she could in that subject, she left and started touring the lecture circuit on Rock Salt and Shot Guns for 5 years running.
During this time, she obtained her Black Belt in the newly discovered martial art called “Head Slap” which has become the definitive way to keep unruly and sarcastic employees in line.
She is the official spokesperson of the Hitter, Hacker, Grifter, & Thief homecoming committee for the second year in a row.
Most recent author of the critically acclaimed Onion Best Seller Show Me Where Spock Touched You and other heartwarming tales of Trekkery as well as the author of some of the most popular short stories A Harry Potter Christmas Carol and A Letter to Saint Nick both heart warming stories involving Severus Snape and Sir Nicolas De Mimsy Porpington.
She currently lives somewhere in the United States of America with her pet Fizzgig.
And she never forgets her flash drive. Ever.
To contact J.D. Hay email her at firstname.lastname@example.org